With the Covid-19 being foremost in everyone’s minds right now, parents have been on high alert to spot signs of illness in both themselves and their children. We know the authorities’ guidelines on how to stay safe, how to wash our hands for a minimum of 20 seconds and to cover our mouths with the crook of our elbows if we sneeze or cough. We also know that with schools and nurseries closed, malls and play areas inaccessible and events cancelled, many of us will have to stay at home with our children for an uncertain amount of time.

This situation is a brand-new challenge and is overwhelming for even the most calm and inventive of parents, and many of us are suddenly finding ourselves out of our depth. How are we to manage the fears and anxieties of our kids when we do not have the answers ourselves, and how do we keep a sense of normality and harmony at home without the outlet of school or nursery, social contact and outside activities.  How do we keep ourselves calm and coping?

Feeling out of control in any global situation is very scary for adults and this fear can also be picked up by children, even little ones who are too young to understand the media. Crucially it is time to take control of what we can influence, and not overindulge in what we cannot control. This will mean stepping away from the temptation of watching news bulletins on loop – instead set a time of day for updates and then focus the rest of the time on positive activity and thoughts.

Remember you are in-charge of your own home!

You are going to need some strategies and to make some decisions. It is all too easy to drift into a situation where the children are up late as there is no school, meals are unstructured and there is no agenda for the day and before long everyone will become irritable and dissatisfied and this is not a usual holiday situation where you can scoop everyone up and head for the beach or the cinema when things get a bit much.

A routine is advisable; this is because children feel secure when they know what is happening next and they have a structure to follow. They see that the adults are still in charge, and that will be comforting even if they have fears about the situation.

How you fill your day will depend on the ages of your children and whether you are doing home schooling. It might be quite a juggle if you have children of very different ages, but if each child has a structure for the day they will have some direction, some expectation and find it easier to focus on what they need to do. It is a good idea to write this out and pin it up somewhere in the house that everyone can see. It will save a lot of repeating yourself and answering lots of questions about when this or that is happening and who is doing what and when. Older kids will be curious about what their younger siblings are doing also so if they can see this written up on a schedule it will keep it easier on the question-answering!

It is important to put mealtimes, exercise times, relaxing/family time and screen times on the timetable.

Undoubtedly internet access is invaluable at this time for education, connection and entertainment, but a child fully immersed in screen time all day is not a good thing. It is also important to stay aware of what they are looking at online and whether talking to certain friends is a positive or a negative. Connection is vital but if your child is spending time talking to other children who are ramping up fear and causing your child to feel upset and frightened then this should be tactfully limited.

Managing fear will be another challenge which will again depend upon your own attitudes and the attitudes and ages of your children. Be prepared that your children may want to have a conversation with you about the Covid-19 and be up to date on the correct facts; The World Health Organization is a good place to inform yourself. Psychology Today suggests that “Once you have a clear understanding of what your child knows already, you want to provide information or correct misinformation. This must be done in a developmentally appropriate, honest and clear way.”. If you don’t know the answer to a question, then it is OK to say so. If your child is asking the same questions repeatedly they are looking for reassurance rather than information and this is an unhelpful feedback-loop in which ‘anxiety’ is winning.

Instead of repeating reassurances or making promises that are not possible to make (we cannot know for sure in this uncertain world that nothing bad will happen), challenge your child to look at what they already know; ask them how likely they think it is that the thing (based on the correct information that they know) is going to happen. This is teaching your child to practice rationality rather than allowing them to feed their fears and they will become better at asking themselves questions rather than having to rely on you.

Keeping conversations and news coverage about the Covid-19 to a minimum will be helpful in not increasing an atmosphere of anxiety in your home. Make sure to spend time focussing on positive things. Watch uplifting films or television, read engaging stories, share life tips with your children from as simple as how to boil an egg to how to keep anxiety in check, and practice gratitude which has been proved to uplift mood and ease fear.

Ask your child to think of five things they are grateful for each morning or evening – help them to see how blessed they are – this will help shift their thinking from fear to gratitude and will help them feel happier if they are worried.

Keep yourself safe and structured and make sure you have some time to yourself every day to unwind, take a bath, meditate, spend time with your spouse and exercise. You are the captain of your own ship you need to keep well and balanced so do not feel guilty insisting on putting yourself first when you need to.

Stay positive, remember that as restrictive as this situation is, it is not forever.  It is a chance to rise to a challenge out of which many good things can present themselves. You will spend more time with your children than you would have done. You will be able to teach them things and share things with them that otherwise may not have happened. It is possible that this time of great challenge and uncertainty may be looked back on in the future as something quite special.

In order to help ease kiddo's anxiety all over the world, we encourage you to download and share this book on coping with Covid-19 authored by Manuela Molina. You can find more information here.